I stare at my reflection in the mirror, asking myself,
“Why am I doing this to myself?”
I’m losing my mind on a tiny error which I nearly left the real me on the shelf. While I’m brushing my hair, asking myself again
“Do I look perfect?”
Yet, I forgot what to do to fit the mold! The more I try the less is working this 'cause everything aside me screams.
"No, no, no, no!"
I have to lose it all in the blur of the start! Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing! So, it's okay not to be okay. Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising. Just be true to who you are!
Yes? He goes, he just give me a fake shows. Like "wow", he just go, and leave me alone! Now the real talk, real life, good love, goodnight, with a smile, that's my own!
Now, I heard the whisper again saying that he is the right one. But apart of me felt that im shivering! I am so afraid that the old story will kept on replayed!
"will i keep on replaying the same scene the whole of my life?"
Kisah pedih kadangkala membuat kita takut untuk mencuba sekali lagi. Macam waktu kecik-kecik dulu when u olls tried ur rollerblade for first time. Once u fall down, u dont wanna tried it again. Macam dah jeran kan??
Tapi aku bukan budak yg mcm tuh. Aku walau dah jatuh banyak kali n even bleeding pn i cuba lagi sekali. But now we talking about love, so i ade perasaan takut mcm tuh! ape perlu i buat?
Die dah bagi2 hint and as usual if i like a man, i akan buat somthing stupid! I just cant control myself. I would never be myself. Frankly speaking, mmg i kasar but tak la tomboy. Tp infront of the man i like, i tends to act like tomboy. Mcm tula. I would show him yg very worst sight. Ape lah kena dengan ko nih. Maybe i cuba control my nervous tru that but i still relize it will kill the intrest in a man!
"This time i kena cool down abit!"
"Tapi jikalau bukan dia, dan jika dia akan memudaratkan diriku. Kau jauhilah aku daripadanya. Kau hilangkanlah kegelisahan ku ini. Namun jika benar itu dia, jodohku, aku redha dan Kau jadikan lah dia pembimbingku dunia dan akhirat. Dan Kau dekati serta restuilah kami ya Allah...Amin...Ya Rabbalalamin..."